mates

confessions of a squash court manager

episode 12

mates

This particular episode was funny to me, probably due to my warped sense of humour!

A car pulls into the carpark of the Corleone Squash Center CSC, and 2 guys get out and start walking toward the entrance. They are obviously mates, both about 35ish and are talking and laughing with each other as old mates do, and they came in the same car!

"Hi Luka, how are you going?" 

One of the guys happens to be one of my members, a bit of an arsehole if truth be told.

"Hi squashgodfather, I've bought my mate Sonny in to give him a whooping." 

He said looking cockily at a not so impressed Sonny. 

"What court can we go on squashgodfather, hows about the show court?" 

Fuck no, I don't know about his mate, but Luka is a total hacker, certainly not the type of player I want to use to promote the game of squash.

"You've got to be kidding, surely? I will hide you guys as far away from the viewing public as possible, go down to court 6."

"Have you been told today that you are a real areshole, squashgodfather.?" 

He said with a tinge of venom in his voice.

"Let me see, whats the time, 11am. Yeah 3 times today already, your the 4th. Court 6, fuck off."

Away they went, down to the dungeon that is court 6, safely tucked away from public view. All seemed to go pretty well, I could hear a few yells and a bit of arguing, which is totally normal for a game of squash, you should hear the whinging that comes from my opponents.

"Give me 2 Gatorades will ya squashgodfather." 

Asked Luka, who by the look of anger on his face had  been beaten by Sonny and was subsequently buying  the drinks.An awful feeling I hear, hasn't happened to me in 40 years of playing squash!

"How was the game Luka?" 

I asked,  knowing not very good since he was buying the drinks.

" Shit house, I played like total crap, his best shots were my errors!"
Sonny chimes in, with a big toothy grin on his face. 

"I think it is a true reflection of our various abilities, I'm good and your fucking useless." 

Touche Sonny I thought.

Whack, Luka had suddenly and unexpectedly punched his mate! with a lovely crisp right cross, landing flush on Sonnys cheek. Instantly Sonny reacts and grabs Luka in a head lock and they were in to it.
I raced around the counter and pushed them towards the door, trying to avoid any stray fists. I managed to get them outside then left them to it. They stopped fighting pretty quickly once outside on the driveway, mores the pity, as I had my chair and popcorn ready to watch  Thats my warped sense of humour coming through. They dusted themselves off and headed to Lukas car, for what I am sure would be an interesting trip home.

Luka has never bought Sonny in for another game of squash....funny that!

2 more happy customers

good squashing

squashgodfather