Wednesday, March 4, 2015

sweet spot

confessions of a squash manager
episode 8
sweet spot

This guy, I shall call dick head, had been pissing me off for some time. I had had words with him on a couple of occasions for his language in front of the kids  here at the Corleone Squash Centre CSC for the Saturday morning juniors. 

Dickhead, had left his racquet for restringing the previous Saturday and had picked it up this morning.
After he finished playing, dickhead comes up to me at the counter and appeared extremely angry.
"Hey I don't know what the bloody hell you've done when stringing this racquet, but there's no sweet spot anymore, you've completely fucked it up."
Lovely bloke, obviously got his arse whipped.

This was my chance to show this tosser just how much of of a tosser he was"Give it to me."
I said, grabbing his racquet and heading to the court.
The squashgodfathers silky skills didn't let him down, and I was able to reel off  paint tight drives, soft touch drops, smooth volleys and finished off with trade mark, forehand cross court smash, into the nick. Roller!  Master class.

Satisfied the sweet spot was there, I walked off the court and held the racquet up.
"Sweets spot's there as large as life" I said touching the strings. "Problem is you cant find it. Give me a minute and I'll draw you a map, you may need a compass"
Dickhead snatches the racquet from me and storms out of CSC.

another satisfied customer

good squashing

Monday, March 2, 2015


Confessions of a squash court manager
episode 7
Wednesdays should be one of my favorite days of the week. At 4pm I have a round of golf  against my long suffering....(that's code for getting his arse whipped on a regular basis),  playing partner, Fossil, followed by him buying me a  pint of  ice cold beer, in recognition of another victory for the squashgodfather.

So why don't I like Wednesdays you ask? The answer is two words Day and  League! 
Don't get me wrong, not every thing or every one involved in Day League is the cause of my melancholy surrounding Wednesdays, most are lovely fellow squash nuts, its just a couple of whinging whiners,who really piss me off.

"Hi ladies what would you like to drink?" I said to the gaggle of women standing at the counter looking at my limited range of wine on sale as they were preparing to have lunch following their matches.
"For a club with a liquor licence you have a pretty poor selection  of wine on offer." Says one of the gaggle. Obviously a real connoisseur!  "Give us a run down of what wines you have?" Real charmer this bitch!
"I have strawberry champagne." A favorite at the Corleone Squash Centre CSC. "As well as, SSB, lemon ruskis and apple cider."
"I feel like a chardonnay, do you have any?" Says the  connoisseur of the gaggle, obviously not just dumb , but also deaf.
"Right, lets re-cap" I said, trying very hard to keep the, fuck me look off my face. "I have strawberry champagne,  SSB, lemon ruskis and apple cider." 
"What about some rose'?" Thats it, this bitch is taking the piss.
"No, I've told you what I have twice, just pick one of those, or get lost."
"Give me a bottle of ssb then, how much?"
"fourteen dollars."
"Bloody hell, I can get that wine for nine dollars at my local bottle shop." Whats wrong with this fucking woman?.
"I'm not a bloody bottleshop love, give me the money or fuck off."   Faaarrk. More money  thrown in my face, I feel like a Chippendale, oh how I love Wednesdays.

Another satisfied customer.

good squash