Thursday, July 23, 2015

but we're members

Confessions of a squash court manager
episode 18
"But we're members"

Two casual members walk into the Corleone Squash Center on a very chilly July Wednesday morning.
"Hi squash godfather, any chance of a court,? he asked, with a smirk on his dopey face.
"I can see that you are flat out, but I'm sure you can find a spare court for 2 of your finest members."
I think he was trying to be funny, it wasn't working, but as there was no one else in the place, it's pretty bloody obvious that there is a spare court.

"Wow Tom you are so fucking funny, that's the first time anyone has said that to me, how long have you been waiting to use that line?" I asked, trying to maintain my cool, calm demeanor. "$8 each please," I said, grabbing a tenner from both. "Here's your change, you 2 comedians go onto court 3."
They grabbed their change and headed around to their court, trying to think of a snappy come back, maybe in an hour they may have one, I doubt it.

I gave them an hour and a half, bloody good value for $8, then turned the lights on their court off.
"Hey what's going on, the lights have gone out," an irate Tom said dripping sweat on my beautiful clean counter.
"You've been on for an hour and a half, times up." I said.
"But we're both members," he said with a tone of defiance.
"That's why they didn't go off after an hour," I said, with a similar tone of defiance.
"We haven't finished our game yet."
"Well it's going to cost you another $8...each." I said, flopping down into my chair.
He turned and walked away without saying another word. A minute later he returned.
"Here's the money," he said, slapping $20 down on the counter."we're not happy squash godfather." he said as he stomped off back around to his court, which  miraculously had the lights back on.
Show me the money , I will show you the light.

2 more happy customers.
good squashing
squash godfather