Thursday, August 3, 2017

Who's speaking

Confessions of a Squash Court Manager
Episode 27
who's speaking

Well it's been a while since I've had reason to put pen to computer to share an incident that has happened to me as the manager of the Corleone Squash Center. 
However my zen place was shattered today, not by an in the flesh customer, but by an over the phone dickhead.
I get a call about 1pm from a player from a rival club who was coming to Corleone Squash Center to play one of our teams tonight in the local pennant league.
The reason for the call was to advise me that his team were forfeiting.They were probably scared shitless of the beating our team was going to give them... Corleone Squash Center players have that shit themselves affect on opposition teams.

Anyway, all was going well until out of the blue he asks, "who's speaking, is this that moron who calls himself the Squash godfather?" It wasn't so much that he called me a moron, it was the tone in his voice that got my hackles up. Plus..I lie, NO ONE CALLS ME A MORON!
"Yes.... this is the Squash godfather" I replied, barely able to get the words out through my gritted teeth.
"Are you aware there's a lot of people out there who think you're a real dick head.?" He said, with an edge of smugness now in his voice.
"Do YOU know there's also a lot of arse holes out there, and even dumber arse holes who listen to them?"
I replied, answering a question with a question. What normal person says things like this over the phone to a complete stranger...A fucking drop kick, that's who.
"Well they all can't be wrong can they.... Squash godfather?"  He persisted, sounding very irritated in have his misguided self righteousness challenged.
"You're obviously hanging around with too many fuckwits my friend. Maybe it's time you took your head out of your arse and venture out into the real world."  I said, maintaining a sense of professionalism.

"What the, who do you think, you can't speak." This idiot was so flabbergasted he couldn't get the words out of his dopey mouth.
"Bye bye dick head," I said, then quietly hung up the phone.
Game, set and match, Squash Godfather!!

Good squashing
Squash Godfather