Friday, April 8, 2016

That's a rip off

Confessions of a squash court manager
Episode 24
That's a rip off

Thursdays, my favorite day of the week. I finish early, head to the golf course and give my old my mate fossil a lesson in the finer arts of the game of golf, and it's also the start of my well deserved 3 day weekend....Oh I do love Thursdays. 
So it takes a lot to piss me off on a Thursday, but shit happens!

"Hi guys how are you going on this lovely Thursday?" I asked the two guys who had just entered the Corleone Squash Center.
"How much to hire a court?" asked,(lets call him number one), in a tone that said I'm an arsehole...stay calm squash godfather...it's Thursday remember.
"Twenty five dollars," I replied.
"Give us a court for an hour", number one said. No please or thanks, just a kiss my arse attitude.
He throws over the money, "cheers guys go down to court three." I said

They headed off  around to the courts, but were back at the counter a few minutes later, attitude written all over their dopey faces. Here we go I thought.
"Where's the gear?" asked, (lets call him number two) with the same lovely manners as his mate number one.
"What gear?" I asked, trying to pretend I didn't know the bloody obvious...just to piss them off.
"The fucking racquets and ball," he said, clearly agitated now.
"Oh that gear. Well if you haven't got your own you will have to hire it from me." I said, trying not to smile.
"How much will that cost?"  he asked.
"Twenty one dollars, and you get to keep the ball. What a bargain Hey?" I said.
"Bargain, that's a bloody rip off." They yelled in unison.
"Well tough titties. That,s the price, like it or fucking lump it." I said, bracing for a verbal onslaught.
But no, to my amazement number one threw the money at me, and said "Give us the bloody gear even though its a fucking rip off." I hand over two racquets and a ball and once again away they went.

Fuck me, what now, number two was back waving two bottles of water at me, "where can I put these to get them cold?" he asked.
"How's about the fridge in your kitchen at home?" I said.
"What about this one?" he said, pointing to my two door drinks fridge, standing there in all its chilly glory.
"Sorry mate, it cost money to keep that air cold. Why don't you take those drinks home and buy a couple of icy cold ones off me?" I said, with a content written all over my face.
"This place is a bloody rip off." he said again. Then once again stormed around to the courts..hopefully for the last time.

Two more happy customers..
Good squashing

Squash godfather

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